Call a Pal

Why do we obsess over our exes? It sounds awful to say but we tend to take our significant others, or flings, or fuck friends for granted when they're always around or constantly available but the second that they aren’t in our lives suddenly our creeper stalker alter egos take control. I’m not the only one most of you know what I'm talking about. That moment you check your exes facebook or instagram and freak out about that other girl or guy in the picture, “who the fuck is that” click, click, click......suspense....gut awful feeling, have they moved on? Is she hotter then me? Is she "cooler" then me? What does she have that I don't have? Ooo wait it’s his sister phewwww calm down crazy…wait who the hell is that!!!!

Of course they’re going to go out and meet other people as should you. If they're in your past they're there for a reason. Don’t hold on and let yourself get crazy about something inevitable. Spend your energy on better things, like finding new friends and strengthening your relationships with your current friends.

As much as Carrie Bradshaw annoys the hell out of me, the girl got it right in the friend department. No matter how hard you fall no matter how hard you fail and no matter how many times it happens (which if you're doing it right should be pretty often life is about making mistakes!), if you have solid good friends around you you’ll be ok. But you have to put the time in with your friends, you can’t just pick up the phone when you need something. Nobody wants to feel like an emotional dumpster. I don’t want to be someones friend for the bad stuff and the bad stuff only. I am a great shoulder to cry on, and I definitely want to be on the call list when shit hits the fan but I want to be there for the good stuff too! I want to be called to just hang out and go see a show, go out dancing, go get some food, get some drinks, check out that new exhibit, or just watch a movie. 

Let me run this scenario by you and see if it sounds familiar, you get a call or a text or a email from a friend you haven’t seen in a while, they're super eager and excited to hang out with you which makes you feel happy because its nice to know that people are excited about hanging out with you, and because you really want to hang out with them as well! But then you get there and immediately realize that this is no ordinary hang out and chill session. It is in fact not a hang out and chill session at all it is a, help me my boyfriend/girlfriend and I are on the outs and now I need to reaffirm my sense of self, and heal my bruised ego and wounded self esteem, which is now, because you are a good loyal friend, your job. You showed up under the guise of drinks and a good time only to realize, to late I might add, that it’s a trap. Don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to people when your sad please PLEASE reach out when your sad, but don’t save all your happy moments for your significant other and then hang out with your friends when your on the out with your flavor of the week. Its not cool, its not ok, and if your guilty of entrapment you may find after a while you don’t have very many good friends left.